I am starting to understand what has been set before my eyes, though I was not seeing it for what it seems to be. It appears to me that most single moms with kids in America have given up on love. They’ve made the decision to be married to their kids to protect their own hearts and maybe also the hearts of the kids. The desire for love and life shared with a man exists no more. The true gentleman may approach them with good intentions and respect. But before he even says hello, he has no chance because that single mom has given up. It seems the love of her kids is the only consideration. The kids are placed first in the daily priorities and this might seem like the safest and least selfish way for the single mom to behave. It is true this is better for kids than for a woman to be continually chasing a man just to be “complete.” But when the woman lives her life as if she is “married” to her kids, I wonder if the pendulum has swung too far.
I think often our young girls fall into this trap of thinking they have to give themselves to boys and young men as they date, thinking it is the way into acceptance and adulthood. But our young ladies and young men growing up need to realize their own value and worth as human beings and save that special moment for when there is real commitment and in what was traditionally expressed through marriage vows. When our young people skip the commitment that should come with these relationship activities, that is when come the fatherless children and the broken hearts of the children and the moms. And also the uncommitted dads never know what they are missing from being the fathers and husbands that are truly needed in the family setting.
We can all gain from examples of a beautiful marriage. This year, I made the decision to date and I’ve met some wonderful single moms with kids. But it seems there is such challenge in even moving forward and getting past “hello.” I recently had a single mom who told me, she’s given up on love and that her kids come first, and she has no desire to date. She is a woman who has been torn and broken from past failed relationships and marriages. How has our society gotten to the point where broken marriages and broken families, and empty seats at the table are normal?
“…our young ladies and young men growing up need to realize their own value and worth... ”
I believe God is waiting for that Man & Woman to believe in him, and the true essence of love, which is marriage. Being patient is hard to swallow for me in a culture divided and a culture given up on Love. God said, “Cast All Your Cares and Worries on Me, Because I Care For You”…. I challenge myself to make sure when I’m pursuing a good woman, to pray and make sure God is at the center. When God is guiding you, follow Him.
I finally get it, it’s not just me. It’s also the broken women; so many that go along day by day in loss and protection mode. How can we break out of this negative where so many single moms are damaged from “love” and where true gentlemen with good intentions are passed by.
I love my kids with all my heart, I am a full time Single Dad, but I would never put my kids first before a potential valued relationship and marriage, why? Because I truly believe in my heart that the best gift I could ever give my kids, is an example of a beautiful marriage that has God’s approval, not mankind‘s. You lose so much in life when you choose to be married to your kids to protect your heart. Of course, we all want to see our kids‘ development stages from Youth – Teenager – Young Adult. Those are the best days and experience, but the best experience is when your child sees how a man is to properly care for and love a woman through your relationship/marriage and also see how a woman is to honor and respect a man. Giving up on Love & Respect is giving up on the greatest gift to our world and that’s a beautiful marriage where the seats at the table are filled up with immediate family members all across our nation and world. Don’t give up SINGLE MOMS with kids! LOVE Of A MAN IS STILL STRONG THROUGH GOD EYES!