With modern dating, marriage is no longer the consistent goal. Even the definition of dating can be very different from person to person. So much of the time, men just want the sexual benefits and women just want the illusion that they are special to someone.
As I sort this out in my own life, I tend to look at history for answers. When I reflect on my late parents’ marriage of 42 years it gives me hope. But that hope can be challenged in this generation of selfishness and self-centered ways. Many that we might meet want to only box us into one box or one option. It is “my way or the highway.” There are few who want to create a partnership within a relationship based on God’s love and direction. Can we get from point A to point B without a map? No we cannot. We need direction, and God is the perfect leader. I get challenged in my faith, when I lower my values and standards just to be accepted, to avoid loneliness or when I’m too eager to be respected and fulfilled.
The family foundation is based upon the love of God, created by God’s design for a man and woman. Through them He creates a beautiful baby that will be developed and parented by two parents. In our society our youth are greatly struggling for many reasons. I believe it is most often because the family foundation is broken. A strong ripple effect causes a bad downward spiral of those people who refuse to think about, “What can I do to love my woman?” or “What can I do to respect my man?” No it’s all about me, not US.
As a single dad, I can understand this by the example of my life and my family. I speak from my heart to the issues that continue to haunt us all. Many people are lost in a world that is not our permanent home, for we are only passing through. As our country has debated marriage, I have come to realize, our country may make the laws of the land, but God has made the laws of our lives through the word of God — for they are over and above the laws of our land. I cannot give up on marriage, for as my late father told me many times, “The best gift you can ever give your kids is an example of a beautiful marriage built on love and respect.” Life lessons prepare us for marriage, for as we get stronger and wiser in our own individual path, our relationship with God prepares us for a long loving marriage. For when we get off God’s road, we drift into the wrong direction and that can lead us to breakups and divorce.
The lesson I am continuing to learn is don’t settle, be true to who I am, and make sure God is at the center of my life.
I have been challenged with my faith when I think of being in a relationship one day. Although I have a big heart, and God created me to be a leader of my family, I hope to find a woman who is willing to trust and follow me. Many women in America are independent and that is great, but sometimes the man’s values get lost, and that can lead to destruction of our relationships. We have to do better to love and respect each other. Men are supposed to love women like Jesus loves the church and women should respect them. My late parents’ marriage of 42 years is what I want and when our marriages succeed, our families and youth win!